Cognitive Behavior Modification

Changes are accomplished by following the cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) model. Cognitive meaning thought. The basic concept is to change the automatic thoughts a person has. The trick, of course is in the details. To catch, then to change. I'll help you understand and hopefully learn to apply the basic principles of CBT to your life.

The Cognitive Behavior Modification is based on the belief that most anxiety and depression is caused by constantly interpreting events or conditions in a negative manner because of a faulty schema. That is having a particular, automatic, negative way of looking at things. We develop schemas as we grow up.

A schema is a set of beliefs and understandings that we have of ourselves and the world around us. They generally help us understand and cope.

Faulty Schema Examples

My worse schema was that I was not important and that I was a bother, an annoyance to people. I have no idea how I developed this belief, but I did. I filtered all my interactions with people through this schema. It shows up in my reluctance to interrupt people.

I know that part of it is my own dislike of interruptions when I'm deeply into something, but it went FAR beyond reluctance. I had anxiety attacks when I had to order a pizza! I could just picture the worker on the other end of the line being busy with other customers or buried in some task that they didn't want interrupted.

I've been working for years to overcome it. Then I found Cognitive Behavior Modification and life has been getting better and better ever since. This automatic thought still rears it's ugly head every now and then, but I know how to deal with it now.

Then there is the ever common schema of needing everyone to like you. If you have this schema you fell that if someone doesn't like you it's a VERY personal affront to your person, even if you don't like them either.

You may
• go overboard trying to be everyone's friend.
• have your self esteem severely battered by mild rebuffs.
• get unreasonably angry at the person who 'rejected' you. That 'reject' could be as innocent as getting turned down for lunch because the other person had a previous commitment.

A faulty schema could also be a visual thing, like a flash of having a car accident, or visualizing your father yelling at you.

For Cognitive behavior modification, I've come up with the acronym

C-A-D: Catch, Analyze, Dispute

Cognitive behavior modification - step 1 - Catching automatic thoughts
Cognitive behavior modification involves catching the automatic thoughts or images, analyzing them and changing them. What do I mean by automatic thoughts? Let's look at an example.

Say someone calls you stupid. Thoughts start flashing through your head faster than you can catch. I can think of 3 different general reactions all based on what you say to yourself, which is based on your beliefs:

• "How dare he! That @#$%@$# has no right to say that to me. He's a @#$#@ and I'm going to get him back." The more thoughts like that flash through your head, the angrier you get.

• "She thinks I'm stupid. Everyone thinks I'm stupid. I must be stupid. I'm totally worthless." You start feeling bad. The more thoughts like this go through your head the worse you feel.

• "I'm not stupid. That's just their opinion. It doesn't mean I am really stupid. Actually it doesn't change who I am at all!" With these thoughts, what was said doesn't bother you in the least. You can just go on as if nothing happened.

Cognitive behavior modification - step 2 - Analyzing

In analyzing, keep asking yourself 'why'? Why do you think that? Then ask 'Why' again of the answer? And 'Why' again. Using the above example,

Why think "How Dare he?"
• Why? - because you believe that he must not do that.
• Why? - its a violation of your rules.
• Why? - No one can be allowed to disrespect you.
• Why? - If disrespect is allowed, it proves you are stupid.

Cognitive behavior modification - step 3 - Disputing
In disputing your faulty thoughts and thus your faulty schema, you need to question the validity of each thought.

• is this belief right?
• Is there some law in the universe that says no one is ever going to call you names?
• If someone calls you a name, does that make it true?
• What matters more? What people call you? Or who you really are?

Cognitive behavior modification works on images or visions in pretty much the same manner. After you become aware of the vision and it's affect on you, you try changing the vision to something less threatening. Change just a little at first. Then repeat with a bigger change. And so on until the vision is no longer strong.

If, despite trying out Cognitive behavior modification on your own; your anxiety is still getting in the way of your life or your emotional well-being, it's time to seek professional help.

Let me know what you think about this article by submitting a Comment. I'll post appropriate comments. Maybe your comment will help someone else.