A Blocking belief stops you from getting what you want.
It is a barrier to success. It is usually a hidden or unconscious belief. It must be overcome for you to be successful at self-improvement.
You are what you believe. But do you know what you believe? Chances are, you don't know. I'm not talking about the obvious beliefs like belief in God or that 'X' is the best car.
I'm talking about the hidden beliefs. What you tell yourself deep down. 'I'm not worthy of - Love, Riches, Success'. 'I better not get fat because fat people can't be loved.' 'I'll always be over weight'. 'If you're rich, you're a bad person'. 'I'll never be good at anything.' 'Money is the root of all evil'.
You're probably saying 'I don't think that!' or 'Only the mentally ill think crazy stuff like that'. But these are HIDDEN blocking beliefs. And they can be very difficult to discover.
These blocking beliefs usually have associated beliefs closer to the surface. "Money is the root of all evil". and "Money can't buy happiness" can be the surface belief that leads to believing that being rich is a bad thing.
This can show up in your life by keeping you from accumulating wealth. By spending more than you can afford. Avoiding taking a chance that might change your life. Of course, spending more than you can afford can also be from many other beliefs like "Life is uncertain, get what you can, while you can" or "My life is the pits. I need a little pick me up right now."
Words matter, but thoughts matter more.
But it's not the words that cause the pain; it's your interpretation that causes the pain. Say someone calls you stupid. Thoughts start flashing through your head faster than you can catch. I can think of 3 different general reactions all based on what you say to yourself, which is based on your beliefs:
The angry reaction is because you believe that they must not do that. They violated your rules. They violated you. You must show them who's boss. These are your beliefs. They are causing your reaction. But is this belief right? Is there some law in the universe that says no one can ever call you names? If someone calls you a name, does that make it true? What matters more? What people call you? Or who you really are?
The depressing reaction is from blocking beliefs like "Other peoples opinion is what matters." "If other people think bad of me, I must be bad." "They are right, I am stupid. I'll never do it right." Are these beliefs any more correct than the angry person's beliefs?
Your belief, these blocking beliefs are all that's holding you back from having everything you want.
Words have power, even words in your own head. What you say to yourself is based on your beliefs. If you try to use positive thinking affirmations, like "I am smart and self-confident", they may work for a short time, but your unconscious beliefs will re-assert themselves. This will undermine many efforts at self improvement.
Ok. So how do you find these blocking beliefs? It's really in understanding your emotions. Finding out what you tell yourself. Then finding out why.
Emotions are Key
If you can't get past the "I'm gonna die." "We're all gonna die" feeling, you won't survive. Whether you are a highly trained special forces warrior or a rich, pampered socialite, you MUST control your emotions to survive in life-threatening situations..
You need to observe your emotions. If you are disconnected from many of your emotions, as I was, observe your body's reactions. Emotions often show up in the body before we are conscious of them. The jump and inhale of breath happens when we are startled before we know what happened. We feel fear and anxiety in our bodies with tightened muscles or a queasy stomach before our mind notices.
I didn't know that my anger showed up in my clinched jaw until my daughter pointed it out one day. Then I wanted to know which body reactions were associated with different emotions. I did an experiment. I tried to think of several general emotions and what was happening in my body when I had them. For each separate emotion and corresponding event, I 're-lived' the event and observed my body's reaction.
For sadness, I used my mother's passing away. I noticed an empty aching in my heart. For nervousness I used a speaking occasion where I was really nervous. My stomach churned.
Since I felt that excitement also showed up in the stomach, I remembered something I was excited about to contrast with nervousness. Remembering an anticipated trip to Disney World brought butterflies in the stomach and a lightness in the heart.
Remembering when my house burned down brought a heaviness in the pit of my stomach. Remembering working to get my father out of the burning house, I feel fear and tension throughout my body.
Listen to your body and you will find your emotions. Find your emotions and you can find your blocking beliefs.
Sometimes it seems as if the problem is not really a blocking belief that is holding you back. Sometimes it's just true conflicting wants. If you have reluctance or resistance to doing something, you may have conflicting wants. Many times our wants themselves are in contradiction.
You want to be wild and free. You want security. You want money in the bank. You want to buy anything you want. But isn't the belief that tells you there is no way you can have both, still a blocking belief? If you can define the 2 conflicting wants precisely, you can resolve the apparent contradiction.
Wild and free can mean being able to fly to Paris or the Bahamas on a whim. But you may still have security in that you can afford the trip without it being a financial burden. With money in the bank and more coming in steadily, you can afford to buy anything, but you don't want everything.
When you've overcome your blocking beliefs, you can come into alignment. When you get into alignment, peace, joy and the world is yours for the asking.
Overcoming blocking beliefs is a key to success, to getting what you want in life. And understanding your emotions is the key to your blocking beliefs.
Comment by Mar from MD, USA
This article was very informative and provided some thought provoking knowledge. I am going to have to analyze what parts of my body are reacting when I get angry.
I try to catch myself when I get angry, frustrated, worried or have any negative emotion because I know that it is going to cause some kind of future complication in my life. Thanks for the sharing your knowledge.
I've never looked at life this way
Comment by Beau from NSW, Australia
This is really up lifting and interesting. I have never looked at life this way. Its funny cause I'm getting angry all the time and I've been writing trying to find where my anger comes from and I actually came to the conclusion that I was because I had disbelief in my self, and that if I don't really believe then I'm already setting my self up for failure. The reason I was getting angry was because I was preparing myself for that failure, seeing the negative rather then the positives. So yeah these blocking paths I'm going to examine mine though I don't fully understand I'm not going to give up until I do.Beau,
We all develop ways to protect ourselves from emotional pain. And that expected emotional pain might only exist in our imagination. Getting angry can indeed be such a defense mechanism. I hope you have gone on to read more of my website. These pages will help you discover and eliminate your blocking beliefs.
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