Blocking Beliefs, Finding your Keys to Success

A Blocking belief stops you from getting what you want. It is a barrier to success. It is usually a hidden or unconscious belief. It must be overcome for you to be successful at self-improvement.

You are what you believe. But do you know what you believe? Chances are, you don't know. I'm not talking about the obvious beliefs like belief in God or that 'X' is the best car.

I'm talking about the hidden beliefs. What you tell yourself deep down. 'I'm not worthy of - Love, Riches, Success'. 'I better not get fat because fat people can't be loved.' 'I'll always be over weight'. 'If you're rich, you're a bad person'. 'I'll never be good at anything.' 'Money is the root of all evil'.

You're probably saying 'I don't think that!' or 'Only the mentally ill think crazy stuff like that'. But these are HIDDEN blocking beliefs. And they can be very difficult to discover.

These blocking beliefs usually have associated beliefs closer to the surface. "Money is the root of all evil". and "Money can't buy happiness" can be the surface belief that leads to believing that being rich is a bad thing.

This can show up in your life by keeping you from accumulating wealth. By spending more than you can afford. Avoiding taking a chance that might change your life. Of course, spending more than you can afford can also be from many other beliefs like "Life is uncertain, get what you can, while you can" or "My life is the pits. I need a little pick me up right now."

Words matter, but thoughts matter more.

Break Through Your Blocking Belief

Have you heard of the phrase "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me!" I bet you got at least a twinge of anxiety thinking about that phrase. I'm sure your rational, conscious mind understands that it is perfectly true. Names can't hurt you like getting hit with a rock would. But your emotional side remembers the childhood taunts and hurts.

But it's not the words that cause the pain; it's your interpretation that causes the pain. Say someone calls you stupid. Thoughts start flashing through your head faster than you can catch. I can think of 3 different general reactions all based on what you say to yourself, which is based on your beliefs:

• "How dare he! That @#$%@$# has no right to say that to me. He's a @#$#@ and I'm going to get him back." The more thoughts like that flash through your head, the angrier you get.

• "She thinks I'm stupid. Everyone thinks I'm stupid. I must be stupid. I'm totally worthless." You start feeling bad. The more thoughts like this go through your head the worse you feel.

• "I'm not stupid. That's just their opinion. It doesn't mean I am really stupid. Actually it doesn't change who I am at all!" With these thoughts, what was said doesn't bother you in the least. You can just go on as if nothing happened.

The angry reaction is because you believe that they must not do that. They violated your rules. They violated you. You must show them who's boss. These are your beliefs. They are causing your reaction. But is this belief right? Is there some law in the universe that says no one is ever going to call you names? If someone calls you a name, does that make it true? What matters more? What people call you? Or who you really are?

The depressing reaction is from blocking beliefs like "Other peoples opinion is what matters." "If other people think bad of me, I must be bad." "They are right, I am stupid. I'll never do it right." Are these beliefs any more correct than the angry person's beliefs?

Your belief, these blocking beliefs are all that's holding you back from having everything you want.

Words have power, even words in your own head. What you say to yourself is based on your beliefs. If you try to use positive thinking affirmations, like "I am smart and self-confident", they may work for a short time, but your unconscious beliefs will re-assert themselves. This will undermine many efforts at self improvement.

Ok. So how do you find these blocking beliefs? It's really in understanding your emotions. Finding out what you tell yourself. Then finding out why.

Emotions are Key

There have been studies done on people who are disassociated from their emotions and those who have had damage done to the emotion centers of their brain. There is a correlation between emotions and decision making. The larger the disconnect to emotions, the more difficulty the person has in making decisions.

Most decision are emotional after all. Whether the decision is about what to eat, what job to take or what toothpaste to buy, we make these choices based on how we feel. You feel like Italian or Chinese tonight. You like the new boss or company. You like the toothpaste.

In his book 'Deep Survival', Laurence Gonzales, explores why some people die and others survive when in a life-threatening situation. He concludes most of it has to do with attitude. The ability to overcome negative thoughts and emotions.

If you can't get past the "I'm gonna die." "We're all gonna die" feeling, you won't survive. Whether you are a highly trained special forces warrior or a rich, pampered socialite, you MUST control your emotions to survive in life-threatening situations..

Emotions show first in the body

You need to observe your emotions. If you are disconnected from many of your emotions, as I was, observe your body's reactions. Emotions often show up in the body before we are conscious of them. The jump and inhale of breath happens when we are startled before we know what happened. We feel fear and anxiety in our bodies with tightened muscles or a queasy stomach before our mind notices.

I didn't know that my anger showed up in my clinched jaw until my daughter pointed it out one day. Then I wanted to know which body reactions were associated with different emotions. I did an experiment. I tried to think of several general emotions and what was happening in my body when I had them. For each separate emotion and corresponding event, I 're-lived' the event and observed my body's reaction.

For sadness, I used my mother's passing away. I noticed an empty aching in my heart. For nervousness I used a speaking occasion where I was really nervous. My stomach churned.

Since I felt that excitement also showed up in the stomach, I remembered something I was excited about to contrast with nervousness. Remembering an anticipated trip to Disney World brought butterflies in the stomach and a lightness in the heart.

Remembering when my house burned down brought a heaviness in the pit of my stomach. Remembering working to get my father out of the burning house, I feel fear and tension throughout my body.

Listen to your body and you will find your emotions. Find your emotions and you can find your blocking beliefs.

Some times it seems as if the problem is not really a blocking belief that is holding you back. Sometimes it's just true conflicting wants. If you have reluctance or resistance to doing something, you may have conflicting wants. Many times our wants themselves are in contradiction.

You want to be wild and free. You want security. You want money in the bank. You want to buy anything you want. But isn't the belief that tells you there is no way you can have both, still a blocking belief? If you can define the 2 conflicting wants precisely, you can resolve the apparent contradiction.

Wild and free can mean being able to fly to Paris or the Bahamas on a whim. But you may still have security in that you can afford the trip without it being a financial burden. With money in the bank and more coming in steadily, you can afford to buy anything, but you don't want everything.

When you've overcome your blocking beliefs, you can come into alignment. When you get into alignment, peace, joy and the world is yours for the asking.

Overcoming blocking beliefs is a key to success, to getting what you want in life. And understanding your emotions is the key to your blocking beliefs.